Miracle: Trump-Hating Swamp Creature Jailed for Russiagate Leaks
Will wonders never cease! A foaming-at-the-mouth Trump hater who use to work for the Treasury Department has been sent to jail for her role in the Russian collusion saga.
Don’t get too excited, though. She’s not going to jail because of her relentless efforts to hurt Donald Trump. The Swamp is sending her to jail because her overzealous leaking of classified materials to the media gave Robert Mueller’s team a bunch of headaches.
But still – she’s a peach! Wait until you get a load of this gal and what she did to help drag the country through more than three years of Russiagate BS.
The former official’s name is Natalie Mayflower Sours Edwards. She was a high-ranking advisor in the US Department of the Treasury in 2017, which you will remember as the first awesome year of having Donald Trump as your president. Natalie Mayflower Sours Edwards worked at the Financial Crimes Enforcement Network, otherwise known as FinCEN. That’s a really important job in an important federal agency.
And boy, is this story going to bolster your confidence in our government employees!
Ever since 9/11, banks have been required to file “suspicious activity reports” (SARs) with FinCEN anytime a person makes a “suspicious” transaction with their own money. “Suspicious” is so loosely defined that a SAR is filed against anyone who takes out as little as $4,000 of their own money in cash from their own bank account. That might not trigger an FBI investigation of your finances, but a SAR is definitely filed if you’ve ever done that.
Due to the sensitive nature of suspicious activity reports, they are supposed to be confidential. SARs are supposed to be a safety measure to keep an eye on terror groups like Al Qaeda or ISIS, but everyday Americans have SARs filed against them all the time. The confidentiality of SARs protects your right to privacy, so that you’re not branded as a terrorist if you pay cash for a used car or something.
Because the threshold for “suspicious” is so low, there are a ton of SARs filed every single day. Most of them are never investigated and never go anywhere. They’re just filed away as computer records at FinCEN.
When Donald Trump was sworn in as the Greatest President Ever in January of 2017, a lunatic named Natalie Mayflower Sours Edwards began feverishly poring through FinCEN’s confidential SAR reports. She was part of the #Resistance, and she was going to do her part to take down Literally Hitler. She tracked down every SAR report with the name “Trump” on it. She also searched for SAR reports on Paul Manafort, every Russian diplomat stationed in the US, Rick Gates, and that poor Russian immigrant girl who was dating an NRA official.
And she gave them all to the internet’s most famous cat blog – Buzzfeed News.
You probably remember Buzzfeed for the reckless, irresponsible and dumb reporting on the Russian collusion hoax for several years. They were the only news outlet in the world that decided to publish the Steele dossier after John McCain gave it to them. (Every other news outlet refused to publish or talk about the dossier, because none of the information in it was ever proven true.) Buzzfeed’s publication of the Russia dossier opened the floodgates for the media to help James Comey gin up the Russia hoax.
Buzzfeed’s reporting was so bad that in June of 2017, Robert Mueller was forced to take the rare act of publicly denouncing Buzzfeed. Even though they were being aided and abetted by a steady stream of illegally leaked SAR reports from Natalie Mayflower Sours Edwards, Buzzfeed’s reporting was so incorrect the Mueller had to tell them to shut up.
Natalie Mayflower Sours Edwards was finally caught and arrested. Not because she was leaking the confidential banking records of Donald Trump, Manafort or the others, but because she was leaking the SAR reports on the Russian diplomats. The “suspicious” transactions that Buzzfeed kept getting its hands on actually proved that the Russians weren’t giving cash to anyone even vaguely related to the Trump campaign (they were paying for swanky dinners in DC). Mueller had to shut Natalie Mayflower Sours Edwards down because her “help” was proving Trump’s innocence. Whoops!
In case you think I’m exaggerating by describing Natalie Mayflower Sours Edwards as a nut, when the courts asked her to identify herself at her sentencing hearing, she introduced herself as a “matriarch warrior whose spirit cannot be broken.” Your Treasury Department, American taxpayers!
For leaking more than 2,000 confidential SAR reports to Buzzfeed, the matriarch warrior was sentenced to six months in federal prison. At least it’s something.