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News

3 Signs That Global Warming Lunacy Is Getting Even Weirder

If you have a loved one who is really worried about global warming, it may be time to stage an intervention. Global warming has perished. It died a very slow, very painful death, but make no mistake: It is deader than a doornail.

The corpse is still twitching a little bit, but the bad news has been delivered. For the true believers who have adopted global warming as their official religion, this is causing a lot of delusional behavior. You should step in and let your global warming alarmist relatives know the truth, before they do something foolish.

How do we know the theory global warming is dead?

Because all the climate models had a fatal error in them. A “climate model” is simply a computer program that predicts what the weather will be like later, when you plug all the available variables into the program.

According to two independent teams of researchers in Europe and Asia, every single climate model used by every government agency in the world, including the climate models used by the UN, forgot to account for clouds… for more than 20 years. Weird coincidence, right?

When you add normal cloud cover as a variable in every climate model available in the world, they all reveal the same thing. There is no global warming taking place. None. Zero. Zilch. Zip. Nada.

And there you have it: Science has conclusively proved that global warming alarmism is based on an utter falsehood. It’s not real.

This is really bad news for people who have staked the salvation of their eternal souls on recycling their toothbrushes. Here are three different news stories which reveal that global warming true believers have now entered the “Denial Stage” of grief.

First, Iceland held a funeral for a 700-year-old glacier that died. This wasn’t just the usual assortment of kooks staging one of their global warming stunts. Iceland’s Prime Minister Katrin Jakobsdóttir and Environment Minister Gudmundur Ingi Gudbrandsson hiked up the side of a volcano with about 100 other people to hold the funeral.

They installed a plaque on a little patch of snow that remains, to commemorate the end of the glacier. They even issued an official government death certificate for it.

If we know the glacier was 700 years old, then doesn’t that mean that it was not there at some point approximately 701 years ago?

As the late Michael Crichton pointed out in his book “State of Fear,” global warming is all about government control. It has nothing to do with science.

Part of the propaganda about global warming involves showing the public glaciers that are melting, while ignoring the hundreds of glaciers around the world, from California to Greenland, that are growing.

Plus, can anyone dream of another theory as to why a glacier ON A VOLCANO might have possibly melted, besides global warming? Anyone?

In the second important global warming news story of the week, Canadian researchers spent a ton of money on a study and determined that global warming is making spiders angrier.

Real scientists at McMaster University watched some spiders and they are firmly convinced that the spiders are mad as hell for some reason. In fact, they’re way madder than they used to be. What possible reason could there be for this?

Well, there’s really only one reason and I think we all know what it is.

And in the third global warming headline, Barack and Michelle Obama have just made an offer of $15 million for an oceanside mansion on the island of Martha’s Vineyard. What were they thinking?!

I specifically remember from Obama’s first inauguration when he said that his miraculous election was going to heal the earth, and the rise of the oceans would finally begin to slow. He was going to stop rising sea levels, by golly.

But then something strange happened for 8 years. Obama didn’t actually do anything to stop the serious threat of the oceans rising and swallowing up all the low-lying properties on the East and West Coasts. He signed a couple of toothless non-binding treaties which never went into effect.

He tried to strangle the American energy sector through regulatory bullying. But let’s be honest: Obama did not stop the oceans from rising.

So, what could he possibly be thinking by spending a ton of money on a giant house – which is right next to the rising oceans? Maybe he secretly fixed global warming and didn’t tell anyone about it!

He is very modest that way, as we all know. Or, maybe Obama never really believed that the oceans were rising in the first place.